From Here to Death Do Us Part (There)

Redefining Relationships – Part 5

Before a relationship can go anywhere at all, you need something that’s key.  For any journey you take, there is one thing that’s very important to have if you want to end up somewhere specific in a desired timeframe.  What’s that?  You need a map or guided route.  If you’re going somewhere you’ve never been or vaguely remember, you want directions.  Why is it that in journeys such as a relationship or marriage, we don’t set a course or get directions?  Could it be that we didn’t know we could or that we don’t have what’s needed to get the directions?

The Quickest Route (The Straight Line)
As you know, the quickest path to get from anywhere, but more specifically, one point to another is a straight line.  That’s really how GPS works.  It finds the straight line between two points and then locates the roadways that can get you as close as possible to the straight line path.  When visiting my mythical building, The Tower of Love, what if you find on the ground floor a room labeled The Quickest Route to A Relationship Like No One Else?  In that room, you could learn or be introduced to what I call the straight-line-process.  What if like directions on a map or your GPS-enabled mobile device, you could have directions that lead you to a marriage or a relationship that only you and your partner could manufacture?  What if you could design the kind of relationship you dreamed of having?  What if you could have a relationship like no one else?  I have good news, you can!

“Trust in the Lord [He who created the relationship GPS] with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding [set of directions];
in all your ways [plans, dreams and ideas] submit to him,
and [H]e will make your paths straight [give you the quickest route].”

The Two Points of Any Journey
Before you can get directions to the best relationship ever, you need two things, two points:  the starting point and the destination.

• Point 1 – The Starting Point which is also known as the “present state”, is knowing your current position.  It’s where we are at this exact moment before the journey begins.  Have you ever started to drive before the directions kicked in?  You can put yourself off course simply by not knowing where you are before beginning the journey.  In the same way, most ordinary relationships have done this very thing.  They started off on the journey without knowing exactly which direction they should be going.  Many career opportunities, home purchases, unplanned children, and many set backs have occurred because the couple started out on the journey without directions.  Have you ever considered setting a course that gets you and your spouse to the place that you both desire to be?  If you have and if you want to, then you need point 2.
• Point 2 – The Destination known as the “future state”, is knowing where you want to end up.  Where do you want your travels to take you.  Do you know the spot on which you plan to rest?  Pamela and I hike often (not enough) and we take trails that have specific destinations.  At the end of the trail we should reach a very defined point.  As we follow the signs on the trail, we know how much further and we anticipate the site or sites we’re about to see.  Without these signs, we have no idea of how long the journey will be or what’s ahead if we continue.  Without directions, we may never see the sites.  Your relationship, marriage, and friendships are the same.  Uncommon people say what do we plan to get out of this relationship?  How do we accomplish our goals and dream together?  Let’s lay out a plan so that we know what we should be doing, when and how.

These two points are critical if you want to end somewhere on purpose.  In fact, you can have the life you want, but it will take a well executed plan.  Don’t underestimate the power of having a plan or in this case directions.

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Using Your Own Set of Directions
No two couples will have the same set of directions, their two points (starting and destination) differ.  Very few couples engaged in an ordinary relationship rarely take the time to define their present state.  And even fewer to map out their future state, where do you want your marriage to end up.  I’m sure you’ve heard this a time or two, “if you don’t have a plan, you plan to fail.”  Don’t fool yourself, this statement has been proven true.  If you don’t have a plan for your marriage, your relationship or your friendships, you plan to fail because that’s what normal relationships do.  Let me remind you, you’re not normal.  You’re far from ordinary.  Plan!  Your best relationship ever follows your plan.

What would happen in your relationship if you and your spouse sat together and jotted down your ideal relationship?  You might not have a perfect relationship, but you can have one that closely follows the straight line.  Let me know what you think; leave me a comment below.